Okay, right now, all over the world, headline, copy and joke writers are trying to come up with the best pun/joke/play on words to describe Scientologist actor Isaac Hayes of Shaft fame quitting the cast of South Park for religious reasons.

Prepare yourself for jokes incorporating lyrics from Hayes’ most famous song, to whit: ‘black private dicks,’ ‘who is the man?’ and ‘who’s the cat who won’t cop out?’ etc. Hayes, who has played the ladies’ man/school cook in the animated Comedy Central satire since 1997, says he’s gone.

“There is a place in this world for satire, but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry towards religious beliefs of others begins,” the 63-year-old soul singer and outspoken Scientologist told an Associated Press reporter yesterday.

“Religious beliefs are sacred to people, and at all times should be respected and honored. As a civil rights activist of the past 40 years, I cannot support a show that disrespects those beliefs and practices.”

South Park co-creator Matt Stone, never one to shy away from anything told the AP: “This is 100 percent having to do with his faith of Scientology. He has no problem ‘ and he’s cashed plenty of checks ‘ with our show making fun of Christians.”

In case you’re not a fan, a South Park episode last fall, excoriated the Church of Scientology and its celebrity followers, including actors Tom Cruise and John Travolta. In the Trapped in the Closet episode, Stan, one of the show’s mischievous fourth-graders, is hailed as a savior by Scientology leaders. While that is happening, the cartoon Cruise locks himself in a closet and won’t come out. Geddit?

Stone told the A.P. he and co-creator Trey Parker “never heard a peep out of Isaac in any way until we did Scientology. He wants a different standard for religions other than his own, and to me, that is where intolerance and bigotry begin.”

To view a sample clip of the controversial episode, visit:

www.comedycentral.com/shows/south_park/index.jhtml